Last night’s workout: 25 pull-ups (with the assistance of 2, OK maybe 3 resistance bands), 45 push ups (knees on the ground, lots of peeling of the body), 65 sit ups (these were OK), and 85 squats (pain). Today my shoulders are destroyed and my quads are shaky. And I’m told that these are still modified workouts, that “aren’t as hard” as normal WODs. Oh really.
Thursday is our last Elements class, and our first “Hero” workout. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds really scary. I have to keep reminding myself that even though Crossfit is about pushing yourself to your limits, and if there is a WOD that you just can’t complete without resting between each rep, well then you rest between each rep. Between the 3 other people in my Elements class (boyfriend, a 34-year old woman who is literally about 95 lbs. and apparently quite the kickball enthusiast, and a 41-year old mom of -I think 2 kids?- with a Crossfitting husband and a background in yoga), I have yet to finish anything except dead last. And it is a little embarrassing to always finish last. Walking into the gym I’m not just thinking, “I wonder how much this is going to hurt this time,” but also, “I wonder how far behind I’ll finish – How many seconds or minutes will everyone else spend standing there watching me struggle through the workout that they just smoked?” Not only am I struggling with finishing those last squats or thrusters or push-ups, but also with the feeling of being the weakest and the slowest.
I know that Crossfit is all about modifying workouts to a point your body can handle – and therefore is really about nothing but your own performance. And I will be the first to tell you that I am not a very competitive person. And in some ways I tell myself that I am also working the hardest. I am certainly working the longest, and that extra mental torment that fills the last 30-90 seconds of my workout means that I have that much more to push through.
A quick update about Paleo. It’s going pretty well. Of my past 5 meals, 4 have been totally Paleo… And that box of mac & cheese after a snowy day and a tough WOD was totally worth it.